Saturday, December 17, 2011

'Tis Going to be Different This Christmas.

So I thought I would elaborate on the passing of my Papa. Maybe writing about it will help me a bit. I have been an emotional mess the last dew days.

A woke up to dad calling for me outside my door at about 6 or so. I hadn't had a good night sleep at all and maybe that was the reason why. We got into the car, dressed but not yet showered. I just threw on clothes, not even caring about what anything looked like.

We got to thwe hospital right after he passed. I was pretty stoic until I saw Autumn and Aunt Jill. I will remember that day for the rest of my life. I just stayed next to Autumn as much as I could. She whispered, "he's only got a few more seconds, say bye now." That made all of us sob and it was hard to breath. Levi was already getting around down in Illinois to come up.

I called him at one point just to check and see what was going on and he was as big of a mess as anyone. Honestly, it was good that he wasn't there to see what we all saw. It would have been so hard to see my brother cry. It was good that we all got to spend these past few days together.

There were so many things we had to do that even now, the days seem to be running together. I had to contact my teacher and tell him my homework would be submitted late. I hope he gives me until the end of the week to finish all of this stuff. At one point, I thought I may need to drop the class but I feel like, as long as I turn everything in, I don't care what the grades are at this point. I am hoping to get it all done by Monday so I get the 20-27 off without worry about stuff. I am already going to write an appeal letter to just be ready.

Anyway, Papa is at peace now and that is what matters, Although he struggled the last few hours, he doesn't have anymore pain or struggle anymore.

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